WHEN CUPID STRIKES

Every day at least two person are reported by dailies to have  taken their life out,due to love failure, And thousands live a life with out life,having lost the person they love.Even thou an average person knows that love can only bring more pain and trouble than the contrary component,The world does not stop loving and love goes on to be eternal
Love continues to be the most interesting phase and integral part of our living, love has remained the reason for us to live,love has always remained a subject of contradiction,love has been the backdrop of many plots,love has been the prime reason for many battles ,love has been the reason behind many monuments,love is the backbone of our existence,love has made many people rich, by depicting their version of love in the form of lyrics,poems,drama and cinema,love has driven many people towards innovation(i think the famous innovation of the telephone was again the urge of Graham bell to talk to his distant lover)love has created great scholars and also many mad fellows.
Love is purely a perception ,perceived by different people differently,and yet to be definite in nature, only thing that has remained constant is that no love story has been complete without a villain, the villain cropping in the form of Parents,community,social inequality,caste,religion,friends and so on and so forth,and The main entertainment part of lovers is to plan different strategy to cajole,compromise or fight   for establishing their love.and to share their living space with the person they love after which they undergoing thousands of insults,humiliation,tussles and treachery.

A recall on some of the eternal love stories which has been read, heard and narrated,which has made us to form an impression that love is something very special, which cannot be expressed by words, love always happens between incomparable matches, love brings more pain than pleasure and if at all lovers  have been recognised , spoken or remembered,  its not because they lived  happily together .its because they died for each others company,this gets established from the Dramatic representations of  Romeo and juliet, Anthony and cleopatra, Laila and Majnu Anarkali and Saleem, Ambigapati and Amaravathi, and not to miss the tamil melodrama of Devadoss, who is synonymous with a love struck,hapless person with sunken eyes bearded face wrinkled clothes.

It still remains a mystery why love should always happen only with irrational matchings such as, A mighty king to fall in love with a courtesan . people of different races fall for each other,why should a poor girl or boy invariably get attracted to a rich boy or girl,when they very well know that such mismatches  would impose difficulties for them to live together without any hassles.
well this establishes that there can be no reasoning and logic once you fall in love ,because lovers have very little option on that,It's   the handiwork of cupid the Mythological roman  GOD of love who is responsible for this catastrophe,Cupid is replicated in other regions in their own naive names as Eros In greek mythology,Manmathan in tamil mythology.... and many more
It is believed that cupid showers arrows at people  randomly and the moment the arrow strikes at a person they fall in love with a similarly placed person first to be seen, Just like the person falling in love with a donkey in Shakespeare's Midsummer night Dream . But why can't cupid do some rational strikes, and make love more efficient with hassle free connections ,well its believed that Cupid the son of the most beautiful Venus the love god, is blind folded while he makes these showers of arrow attacks and that is why "LOVE IS BLIND". 
The God of love Cupid  was  also a victim of love ,due to a back fired arrow from him and shared the Agony of others lovers struggle  to unite with his lady love Psyche. The villain in Cupid's Love story was none other than his mother Venus as in all other love stories. And as in reality even today, Venus was envious of  Psyche for  being more beautiful than her and wanted Cupid to avenge her.But in turn, cupid fell for Psyche, which was not liked by Venus,who started throwing lots of obstacles to keep cupid and psyche away  the story goes on,,,,, and finally they unite due to divine interventions.
  In Our country love and marriages are interwined, its love only till such time that parents oppose the pairing, Because if they agree for the match then its not love but Marriage..and its presumed that love has won once marriage happens
Love which remained more a act of personal  likes and desires and opposed only by families, has started taking  ugly twists and turns,growing exponentially with the tags that are attached with each love ,for some families love is linked beyond personal liking and used as a tool  grow their business interest for  some its upgrading their living status, for some its enhancing their political strength and for some its enlarging their demographic dominance.And on late lovers are thrown open to defend themselves not from hostile families, but from hostile environments,which becomes more difficult and hence the stories of the weak giving up their lives and the strong continuing to leave,with out any guilt has become the order of the day  and love which was once claimed to be divine has degraded to a nasty adolescent life cycle.  At last if  peace is to be  bought it is at the cost of life.Lovers die not for love,but due to desperation of having landed up with such stressful life.

I was watching the development of yet another love story of  Divya and Ilavarasan of Dharmapuri,Who were targeted by two different groups and felt happy for the courage they both exhibited , Finally the weak  had to die, So Ilavarasan died and has now been forgotten, there are  investigations going on about the cause of Ilavarasan death.,But to me he died the moment his wife and lover divya pronounced those  lifeless words into the microphone held by ten and twenty journalists ,viewed by hundreds in the court complex,that she had no love for him and she would not have a second thought of reunion with him Death was written on his face and his eyes conveyed his blindness of falling for the wrong person.

Such episodes of love in houses,villages and towns,  is a regular affair where the week would die and the strongest would live with not an iota of guilt. 

THE LAST(LOST)TOUCH

It is often said that the subconscious mind is active while we sleep, and also till we attain the age of 6 or 7.When our conscious mind takes over the sub conscious mind ,we slowly tend to forget  incidents what happened in only days of childhood.
However I do not think certain sensory  memories,would ever be forgotten. Such as our first touch, I think the first person blood related to us who would have had the pride of holding us in his arms and planting that gentle kiss on our cheeks, cupped our small soft hand in his hands,and passed over the happiness, love and warmth  and reassurance of safety on the day we were born and introduced to this world would have been none other than our FATHER/DAD/APPA/NAINA.
It is this special bonding and feeling, what gets registered in our subconscious mind that we carry forward throughout our life.To feel safe and secure in the presence of our dad.We always feel that he is the super hero in our life who can chase away thousands of Goliaths, fight against windmills, carry us across seven hills and mountains.And the only person who would stand by our side at all times and cry out aloud and say to this world without any fear or inhibition,you may say what ever you feel like but  " I know what my child is!"
Well, while I grew up, they had been thousands and millions of such incidents of receiving a hug a kiss from my dear dad.
When I was around 6 I used to walk with my dad side by side DAD used to slowdown to match my pace,to make sure i do not tumble with fast steps my left hand cupped in his right,tightly so that the option of freeing myself from his grip was absolutely zero.But his hold told I was his proud possession .the warmth of his palms transferred a feeling of security and instilled fearlessness.
When i was 10 years old I was walking with my dad,this time he was maintaining his pace I was lagging behind making fast strides to match his speed, I was still holding his hands,his right   little finger was left out for me to hold with my left hand,this time the option to stick on was with me to let him go, but this time Appa's touch and hold told me I was growing up that I was to match the expectation of a fast moving world,it said he was confident that he can let me lose my way and I would find back home.
I was 18 years  just blooming into a nice young girl,and walking along side appa, to seek admission into a college,maintaining a close distance between us,when ever he sighted some piercing eyes following me,he gently put his arms around my shoulder to secure me and also send a message,keep away "she is my daughter "  his touch this time conveyed his love and possesivness.
when I was 27 I was married,Appa was holding my hands to be given off to my husband, I could feel a slight shiver and tension in his touch a feeling of joy and sadness. Joy at the pretext of getting me married,sadness that I would not belong to him wholly.
Days passed by  years of aging started showing up more on Appa and less on me, his first illness came 14 years back in the form of a massive cardiac arrest, this time I was travelling with DAD , escorting him to the Hospital, the journey was long, I  was holding appa's hand with mine,with every bump his hold would tighten conveying that the pain was intolerable,but his tightening grip said he was in safe hands and he would live.

There had been incidences of appa falling sick frequently,every time appa was  into the hospital ,his children stood around him,each one showing their love and admiration  for him in their own way,  We sat by his side holding  his hands,he said our touch healed him and he drew his strength and desire to live with hands holding him reassuring that he would recover.

I  heard that dad was sick again, I reached home  with expectations to see him,touch him and hear his voice. DAD remained in a sleeping posture  on his cot an eternal peace had descended on his face and he looked serene and blissful, he  had already left us. Any amount of wailing from us did not  make him stir even once,we tried to embrace him and hug him. Appa was still warm which told us that it was not too long ago that he had started his new journey or he just wanted to save his last warmth to share it with his loving children.

Dad's time to start his last journey was drawing close,i was holding appas hands FOR THE LAST TIME, this time appa's hands was cold,and heavy,a reciprocation to meet our heavy grieving heart a sign of communicating his sadness for  leaving  us.


Now its almost five Months gone,without appas presence and his loving touch,i talk and communicate more with him ,there are so many things to tell him and share with him,which were missed when he was alive, i know that the air that i inhale has traces of appas breath,the sofa,chairs and bed would have retained a tinge of his fragrance,the roads and streets and soil around us would have been touched by him,Appa has become omnipresent,I can see him in every thing around me and of course saved his last touch for ever. 

THE MASTER STROKE

Decision making is the most difficult thing for all of us,we would rather postpone taking a decision than to decide, fearing what if our decision turns out into a fiasco,But at times we find that decisions,take different twists and turns and end up,in good things without our knowledge giving double benefits,and we casually cite that we could hit two birds with a single arrow or brought down two mangoes in a single stone throw.
Happenings in the recent days are making me wonder what is that wonderful spell that has fallen on the people here,there seems to be a general improvement in the level of self disciple,in our outlook in dealing with people,our level of interaction and our bonding with our dear ones.
It has been days, weeks and months that I had a necessity to yell or shout at my kids,Life was so difficult for me to handle them,my energy and longevity getting reduced,with the dawn Beginning with my repeated attempts of waking them up,prompting them to go and get ready for
school/college,prompting them time and again reminding them that they have to study,complete their home work,do their project.Now for some time I find them being more responsive and above all not even fussy/ nagging me with what ever I pack for them as lunch or provide for break fast.

Me who was a  lazy person ,who always wanted to snug for those extra snooze in ten mornings,and be quite lethargic,have become more active i don't want to waste even small quantum of time i just line up my work prioritize one after the other,always having a look at the clock,Might be Robin Sharma's book,On Mega living ,should have brought in this transformation,cause I find lot of time to read and spend my time improving my knowledge,rather than being glued to the Television or computer.

I find,people around me,my nieghbours having nice chit chats,discussing their meal,prepared,exchanging receipes for venthaiya kozambu and paniyaram,trying out different hair do"s for thier girls,practicing rangoli and now and then discussing the patetic upkeep of the locality,Dicuss about politics now and then and i am really surprised to see them observe nature and their surroundings.

Many ladies have started getting the much needed attention,from their husbands and have been receiving small small gifts,reminding them of their lost intimacy and good times,well this is happening as a reciprocation,for the care that has been extended to them in the recent days,"AS THE SAYING GOES,"the best way to enter a mans heart is thro his mouth"
They are pamppred with tasty,hot,and fresh     servings of food ,the wife who was earlier saying,that,Ihave kept the food on the dining table,help your self,to their family members are seen,sitting by their sides and narrating small.small sweet nothings and the kids are really enjoying their family togetherness.

Family outings,a day, every month has now become,a regular affair,gone are those days when kids had to keep nagging their parents,seamlessly to take them out,but now a special budget,is set aside for meeting this expense,and its never seen as a burden at all.
Its so enthralling to see our culture returning back,young mothers are seen out feeding their kids,showing the glimpses of moon,or a crow or dog(at times bandigoots too).And its really,really good to see our kids having got themselves adapted to this change,instead of throwing their whim's
saying unless they see their favourite add,they will not take their feeds.

Children are elders are growing in a more natural way they understand,nature,science and many difficult subjects very easily ,,because they have merged with nature and no more couch potatoes glued to their favourite show or on the computer games in fact they have taken to some physical activity,and the extra fab and mid section fat is getting reduced(note that men have started admiring their wife's,seeing those curves restoring back)
Men  and women are also returning back home as early as possible,from work not wasting their time outside fearing,that every day ordeal of dealing with the complaints and grievances that awaits to be sorted out between their mother,wife and in laws,and an unusual calm and serenity exists,mother in laws are really finding the going tough,for their idea bank is not getting replenished with new,methods of seeking vengeance on their daughter in law or vice versa
Well don't you now agree that a pleasant spell has been cast on our people.and who ever it is they need a lot of appreciation,well its non other than the EB(ELECTRICITY BOARD)for their benevolent gesture of imposing such huge,erratic and sporadic current cuts,which has put every one right from kids  to the old in their slot sand made them to reconcile   with duties and responsibilities and the precious of losing even a minute power supply is there,Given people a lot of free time,since their TV,viewing time has now been drastically cut,there by their stress level which was inflated with daily soaps,gathering at least 10,different plots of abusing their in laws has come to a reduction.A maintenance shut down,on a day every month invariably make you to fled your homes,cause we cannot deny the fact that there is no life without power(i meant electricity).
People working in office,Establishments,schools,hospitals and what not would like to put in their  their maximun efforts during the periods of Power availability,in fact its seen that 8 hours of job is now done in four hours.
I know what a dreadful Decision it would have been,when the only respite available to EB to meet this power crisis,would be to resort to,such erratic and long power cuts,but they never knew that that action could lead to such wonderful,grooming of the people.At times when its really hard to discipline a single individual,just see how they have brought all of us our senses,
Often we have head people quoting as Master stroke,but in real terms this is the best master stroke in the present days,which has indirectly brought in lots of disciple,belongingness ,and goodness amongst people."A boon in the guise of a bane" 

"" NOW AND THEN""

What used to be a pleasant experience, is turning down into an irritation,But what can I do ,this has become a habit for the last 20 years and I cannot shed it away.Well if you thought it was my regular morning walk,or my ritual of starting my day with a detail prayer or a soulful practicing of music/dance ,Than you are wrong,cause I am more a critic who can never do any of these things, but can pass down my comments.
well coming down to the activity,what I was mentioning is the reading of news paper(papers now)in the morning sipping a cup of hot coffee along side.This activity which was consuming 10 min to 15 minutes with some scans on head lines,detail Reading on interesting article and flipping of pages has now increased to almost 40 to 45 mins,upsetting my morning schedules and invariably projecting me as a late comer to office.
If you guess my reading style or skill has changed,than you are wrong(habits  never die )My irritation starts once I lift the paper in my hands,from the weight of it,and on seeing the first page which is replaced with a full page advertisement either from a jewelery store,a real estate builder,a political cut over or a textile show room..
While my senses tell me to avoid them and rush to the real exciting! matter,my eyes refuse to take instruction,for the colorful display,my inherent helplessness that I can only see such things but can never possess them even if I stare and save all my income,because the price tags attached to them are so high ,But still i think people are available to afford such buying, if not the advertiser would not be a fool to spend such huge money.

Well after crossing all these barriers I will dwell  on the main item,And  wonder why the issues of insignificance are blown up so much and why some issues of prime concern are down played as columns on the 6th or 7th page,and really wonder how the News paper would survive its circulation,if its going to carry less and less content and more and more Advertisement.Not to forget that if you have two news papers in your hand,you would go mad by the way that how each one of them have presented their facts and prioritized theirs news.
Well,this is when it struck me that once you have already en cashed your money on the advertisement front,how does it matter,whether you have a reader list or not.,I always ask the paper distributor,what happens to these unsold paper stacked  there,they go for recycling,after wasting so much of resources such as paper,print material,manpower,electricity etc.(which requires serious thinking and auditing).

Well today being a Saturday and knowing fully well that my paper is going to be heavier by at least a few deca grams with advertisement on real estate and its special edition. I was in for a shock ,that the weight  surpassed my expectations and was more heavier,My instinct told me not to even open it,but it had a special band around it thanking for being in this field for 80 years.

 I was going in for a pleasant surprise because it had reproduced the
news item published in 1930,prior to independence,Had the happy announcement of our countries Independence,The sad demise of OUR Father of nation in 1948 with a full page blow up of a smiling Babuji,.
The Happy announcement of the Republic India
The untimely deaths of our Former Prime Ministers.
The swearing in of at least  6-7 Prime ministers.
Now this paper has become my treasure,which i think  will be pass it down for Generations to come.

History Repeats

• Some very interesting excerpts from the yesteryear's just to say and uphold, that nothing new is Happening ,And our country and its Leaders say and do the same thing at all times(This is what is stability)

• Kerala ration cut may be partly revoked  Jan 26/1966
• President calls for urgent action on Food Front "We have to put an end to Starvation,Malnutrition, Epidemics, illiteracy,Social inequalities and industrial backwardness-Jan 26 /1966
• Indian Airlines flight Cancelled-Dec 4/1971,(only for a different reason,as a result of first air raid alert sounded in the Capital ,during the Indo-Pak war)
• Revolt in Cong over nominees in Cabinet-July 29/1979
• Orrisa JD in turmoil   -June 2/1996
• PM knew of Telecom scam: Jaya,  July 27/1999
• Advani to launch 45-day campaign from Kerala
• Discontent over the hand of family coterie in cabinet making,Karunanidi has yielded to the pressure from some of his family members ,they feel    -May 17/1996
• CBI grills Jaya in Vijayan case -may 17/1996
• Schools of scandal,after dusk the corporation schools in city(calcutta)become gambling dens-Jan 26  1966

Beautiful fore thought:Dr.Ambedkars.call to Nation

If parties put creed above country our independence will be put in jeopardy,a second time and probably lost for ever.This eventuality         we must all resolutely guard against and we must all be determined                to defend Independence with the last drop of blood--NOV 27 1949(While debating on the constitution of India document)

• Indians  must hold fast to constitutional methods of achieving social and  economical objective and abandon bloody methods of revolution

      Bhakti or hero worship is a sure road to degradation and eventual dictator ship

Three Tamil films refused certification-June 2,1984

Three movies were rejected certification,two were rejected for the reason that even thematically,they were suffused with violence and sex and a third one on its supernatural angle shown of even of slightest rationality,loaded with superstition and utterly fantasy.

(where are these people what would they have done had they seen Naan E)

And lastly on the part of advertisements

SMALL SQUARES OF ADVERTAISEMENTS WERE SEEN HERE AND THERE,it was NICE TO SEE RELIANCE AND gWALLIOR SUITINGS AND ONE OF CALLICO MILLS,

even THEN a add to improve hair growth and enhance Energy for man was Available

KILI JOSHYAM(Parrot Astrology)

We are accustomed to certain beliefs and customs which  we find   very difficult to come out from them .

One such thing is our belief in Horoscopes Our urge in finding  what’s in store for us in the future based on our planetary positioning(and of course off late to know what we were in our previous birth) We resort to all possible science and art that can tell our prophecy.

Even thou after Mayans prediction, falling apart and giving us a sigh of relief, That these predictions have a 50:50 chance , our love for seeking such help in the form of Astrology ,numerology,  palmistry, tarot reading, nameology,  nadi joditham and of course kili  joshayam cannot be shelved. Visiting a jodidar(fortune teller)Happened only once or twice in the life of people. Once they are born, which was revisited again when Parents decided to get their children married.

But now without seeking expert advice from Many renowned soothsayers, we never want to carry on with our daily work ,  An argument with your neighbor, no good going with your boss, a tiff with your spouse India not winning a match, Our kids not fairing well in exams, well all these have something to literally do with Guru, Rahu, Kethu, Saturn,  Mars, Moon, or Mercury.

(As long as mankind lives and as long as we believe that the planets are super powerful than our Gods and Godesses,) we are not going to restrict our enthusiasm in supporting these art which has now become high paying livelihood for many ,in the name of speciality and with our greed that we want to be better off than our colleague, friend, neighbor, sister, brother, in-laws and parents have made us to seek remedial help from various corners  vastu , Feng shui ,dresscode,etc etc

Now don’t ask me whether I am a non believer of these, I believe every bit of them at least, at that instant, and so its only an attempt to share my experience and to console you had you undergone a similar one.As a part of educating our ignorance

I always have an admiration to call the kili jhosyam man to have a reading of the cards,I do this occasionally when bored ,more than knowing what’s the prediction, its more an excitement to see the parropt  at such close range  and to watch it doing its job of skillfully picking up the stacked cards one by one with its beak ,throwing out a few or at times till the last card and than handing over one to its trained master, collecting a corn of paddy and obediently getting into its small cage.

In variably every time I would have spent at least 100 bugs, each time I had called one and would have picked up cards for at least ,eight to 10 people and decided to wind up always in a bad mood, because the man predicted some thing ill for some one.

Well Persons who have tried this might agree that the first few cards that the bird picks up, contains some images of gods and the man normally blabbers some thing positive about the person, and you can find that what he says and the image he holds in hand has no relevance. But still we feel elated for those nice words and are tempted to seek advice one after another, Now having comfortably played with our emotion and having assessed our frame of mind that we believe whatever is told.

 Now its time for us to ask the bird to pick a card for the dear most among us, The devil in him comes out and the bird hands over a card, to him even before opening it ,He make a disgusted expression and than opens up a card with a snake, and says  OH ,WHO ever it is, their time and fortune is not good, they are influenced by an evil eye and what not, now its time for him to read the expression on our face and scare us more. He would not allow you to wind up, as if to calm us down,  he would say, you pick up a card let us see what is in store, YOU WOULD AGAIN FIND A different snake pulled out from the enclosed cover, and he would re establish, that the person is processed with ill fate, once he fixes up this,He would come up with his dangerous theory of parigaram(remedy).

Many times we stop this episode here and with a confused mind keep thinking about this prediction and   of course spoil our peace of mind.Vacillating with mixed thoughts and at times ,thinking whether we made a mistake of not accepting to do the parigaram.
 I did encounter a recent episode like this. in the recent days.which made me to go with some intropection .

It made me to think logically about the small trick that’s played against us, The entire stack hardly contained 10-12 cards and he held in his hand at least 4 -5 cards opened with a image of a snake but a different picture, with this probability the first card also could have opened up with a snake ,but no it never happens, because, he has to at least make a good start and keep you in the loop, well how does this game go ,if we carefully see him pulling out a sheet ,its evident that the enclosure does not contain a single paper, but at least four to 5 images stuffed into one and definitely one image of a snake is kept in all the cards in a separate slot(similar to the magician pushing a sword into a box and pulling out an unhurt man)THAT’S THE REASON HE PREDICTS IT EVEN WITHOUT OPENING ,MAKING A VERY SAD EXPRESSION.

When, the person was trying to persuade me to give In to his demand, to go with the parigaram, I gathered all my guts and told him I believe in god and with gods help and presence ,no evil can hurt me,He gave me a distraught look, ok,ok I had to say and caution you, its up to you. And for the first time I also realized my ignorance when gods grace is with us what can predictions do to us,So lets all cheerup,I know by now many of us would have read the predictions for this new year and some would be flying high ,while others have lost the years charms. Let us believe in ourself and also feel the presence of God alongside, we are definitely going to have a great year.If Mayan can go wrong,We have all chaces of A Parrot,CAN BE WRONG TOO.............  

ADDICTION

Recently I was reading a book of Robin Sharma, The author best known for his Best seller "The monk  who sold his Ferrari"were He was giving an elaborate guide to develop good practices for a healthy and peaceful life.One of the aspect that drew my attention was a saying by him where he quotes that any activity that is practiced regularly for 21 days,becomes a habit and its very difficult to break that routine.
May be people who are into such activities and already addicted to something can throw more light on this statement,However I have been addicted to some thing in the recent past and i really find it difficult to quit. Wait .Wait,....just don't imagine, something extreme off late. I have been addicted to computer games and the reasons why I cannot quit can be seen as a real personal experience of our ego level.
Well I Really hated people,when sighted playing solitaire or free cell on the computer and often had a very low esteem on such people.Me on the other side would always try to play a game of chess on the computer(often feeling that it suited my intellectual mind)And as you all could guess I used to invariably lose the game against the computer,thou a loss would disturb me momentarily,I would console myself,saying, yeah this is natural. I am just Human and cannot rate my intelligence against a computer.
But repeated defeats,was really driving me mad,(I hope people know that I do not like to be a loser)So I wanted to try some thing much easier, which would boost my self confidence ,by giving me some winning streaks,having seen many people playing card games I was lured to try my luck on that.
 I started with the game of spider solitaire, and when I lost my first game I could not take the defeat as casually as that of the chess game.My ego was hurt terribly that I could not even play such a silly game of Cards,and it never occurred to me that ,here again my opponent was a computer.My rage was raising and I was doing nothing else but playing the game again and again,to register a win.,
This is when I  sympathized  with so many people who get addicted to gambling and other casino games,and indulge in playing again and again,losing huge money.
I understood that it was not the money lost,that  triggered  them to play again and again ,but the lost EGO,the I factor,the insult why i should lose in front of others,if any other person can win,than why not ME?
well this is when i recalled,the bad name earned by Dharuman in Mahabarath,inspite of being a Gem of a person ,righteous in all ways,the biggest blunder was He playing a game of Dice against SAGUNI(an expert computer) He could not perceive a loss as a loss in game but as a loss of his Ego,His successive attempts to play the game pitting his kingdom, brothers ,one by one and his wife as bids at last was not in an attempt to redeem,them one by one ,But just to establish his Ego and maintaining the I factor.
Well to my surprise I started,winning a few  card games.But now i found yet another component of my ego showing up,The score,each time I won a game,the statistic showed a top score as per that computer,well now I wanted to invariably,race that score(again the I factor)It was immaterial to me , who ever was the top scorer,It had to be ME.So  i started  playing the game, every single moment available,I was hooked on to the system playing the game,improving the score,I thought once I crossed the high score I would stop playing
(did i not say i hate people playing card games on the computer).I am the high scorer now ,but I cannot stop playing,because I want to beat my own record(Again the I factor)to see what can be the maximum limit to touch,set a score as high as possible, so that it is always ME,and none else.This is when I was again drifted into realistic life situations,Do we really see life in the real perspective as that of this game,if it was so we would never,give up so easily and settle down with our mediocre performance,in the various roles we do.How often do we want to surpass the financial targets assigned to us?How do we relate ourselves with our colleagues and other family members?How many times do we tell to ourself that I should be the Best person, AMONG ST every one here be it in terms of Character,intelligence,performance or Humane,Where does our dominant Ego,The I factor,hide when it comes to such relevant activities,which can take us to great heights.
Well not to Forget,off late,I am occasionally winning in the chess game too against the computer,which has given me an extra boost,persistent attempts,leads to success well Robin Sharma also says you have to put 10000 hours to master any activity,might be i am proceeding towards that,
 Don't forget success breeds success,and its highly contagious,keep highly sucessful people by your side, think and have the right attitude to win,"you will win"

WOMAN MANAGERS(Bosses)

Its really a matter of pride for all of us,to see woman,especially Indian woman occupying high positions and contributing their might in the progress and economical development of our country.Some may feel irritated, for me using the word, Indian woman and even felt whether it was meant to degrade them ,Not at all,It required a special Mention only because thou,our Ancestors and forefathers have assigned very high values on woman Equated them to Mother Earth,Bharath matha,and given us the status of the three important Goddesses around which, the whole world revolves the one for wealth lakshmi,the one for knowledge Saraswathi,and the other for courage and val our Sakthi.
we have been culturally tuned to donn the role of conservative woman.who have been   domesticated, and trained for bringing up the next generations and for looking after the house hold activities.
Revolutionary thinkers ( woman )did exist, during different eras,but their numbers were just a few ,with not any big Margins.
The transition of woman  taking part in jobs,were quite few in numbers and they much preferred to settle them selves with  jobs such as teaching,,Receptionists,Telephone operators And doctors,nurse  and clerical, where their roles were having limited level of comfort either feeling more comfortable communicating. with a group,which would not raise their voices because of the relationship   student-teacher,doctor-patient,boss-secy,Manager-clerk,further,it was a preconceived myth that woman,by and large,were not designed to hold managerial positions,since they lacked,Executive ability(the knack of getting work done),orderly minds(often wavering )emotional stability(chicken hearted)and leadership skills
But today round 35% of woman employed in various fields are holding Managerial and above positions,which is a remarkable feat,since 3 out of 10 are leading their teams of work force.
I have often wondered how comfortable  A man might feel,reporting  to lady managers and executing or getting orders issued by their lady bosses
But with the existing.stastics what is stated above,I think they have taken it with ease and the amount of conflicts and ego clashes that occur between a woman boss and a subordinate man is much less
compared to the issues that erupt between a lady boss and a lady subordinate.
I have observed men not grumbling about their bosses(lady)and in fact do not hesitate to discuss any work related problems and seek their advice.While on the contrary a lady reporting to a lady boss has more heart burn stress and ego clashes and her boss occupies her mental space both at office and at home.
This again made me to think on the issue and here are some of my personal idea.
The gender difference and safe guards that a lady has, invariably makes a man to deal with her in a very cautious way and he underplays his Macho card while in work.And is very alert not to de rate or demean her which would cost his job.
Further it is quite understandable that taking orders from a woman is no new thing for a man,Being brought up by a mother and growing up with his sibling sisters, he always feels it a pride to go with their orders/views/wishes(and at a later stage from his wife)and never feels it as a insult. So the conflicts are very rare.Have we ever heard a son in law ever having any issues with his mother in law never.......
Now on the other side,lets see how comfortable is a boss- subordinate relationship between two woman, awful,I should say  the first point of conflict arises,with a comparison on, intelligence looks,dressing,the amount of support or influence that they get from their men colleagues and  instead of carrying forward the job assigned to them and maintaining a healthy office atmosphere they get involved in conflicts on each issue an with inflated ego the tendency of refusing to execute any order or extending a note of appreciation becomes a rare occurance and the reason behind this if seen with an emotional angle would reveal that any lady would try to exhibit the in law syndrome(mother in law or sister in law)  disgust,mistrust and  view the other person only on that scale and hence the level of ease and capability of women gets crushed in this process.
So it   requires a real soul searching to be done by woman managers who excel excellently as a boss individually,but fall out miserably while ,handling her senior or junior woman colleagues.which requires to sheld away the personal injuries what is inflicted to her by the society and family.which remains as a ind-eligible scar very difficult to heal,giving rise to such interpersonal problems