PARENTING??? PAMMPERING!!!

I have been thinking about parenting and brining up children for quite some time .And often confused about what good parenting means?,and it remains  a riddle, like the chick and egg, not knowing  which prompts what ,well guessing ?yes its just a process to asses whether all good parents groom good children, And whether all good children have wonderful parents .what  attributes define  parents as good and bad and what bench marks have to be drawn to adjudge a child as good/ bad.
Well let us see a few cases which have made headlines in the recent days,which can give us some glimpses of the topic under discussion
Case 1: A student of class 9 has stabbed his lady class teacher to death in the school premises,enraged since the teacher wanted to discuss his performance with his parents,what was more amusing is that this happened in a very conservative and cultured city like chennai.and not in any rural or ultra modern city.
Secondly it has happened in a private institution,unlike any government school,which we normally,relate to be a haven for all such misdeeds.
Third the boy was supposed to be a well pampered child at home,which defies the normal conclusion that he was a attention deprived child,and hence under depression..
Case 2 well the same news paper carried a cute looking boy's photo of standard XI,who had committed suicidesince he could not meet his parents expectation academically.
Here too the boy was studying in a institute of repute, parents were slightly critical on his performance,and the incident happened in chennai city .
Case 3 Competing with the above two news,here was yet another suicide of a girl of class IX  jumping from her terrace who scumbeled eled to injuries and this tim it was rather a very silly reason,she had a disagreement with her girl friends? and here too the school was a good one.
well all the three incidence are of equal concern ,because three valuable human life has been lost /robbed.But, while the first incident created a flutter,debate and sympathy the other two incident just lost its sheen,because of their merits.
Following the incident at case 1 lots of issues are being debated,And a complete astro/social/economical analysis has been made to find out, what could be the triggering rage that would have made a boy to commit a crime of this magnitude?
And the first reaction comming forth from public/ media was that The boy was a very very pampered boy by his parents,so is pampering and showing excess love and attention a negative attribute?which can  make people,mad?The next reason was that the teacher was critical on his performance,which required his parents  attention,and asked the boy to bring along his parent,the boy felt insulted ,demoralised with the class teachers initiative to correct him, But this is the mildest action what the teacher could do,which cannot be said to be wrong.The teacher was performing her job assigned well within the ambit, But why such a irrational response from the child for some rational actions.
well if we believe it was  due to excess  pampering and wrong parenting(failure  on the part of parents to imbibe good values,stress  goodness and better behaviour, to weigh pros and cons for any action and wrong parenting)or Due to excessive pressure from the school/teacher
If so is there any method to rationalize and say this much of pampering and this percentile of strictness if exercised than perhaps these children  would have grown  UP with a much better attitude?
well this just made me to think back on my childhood,where our parents never had any reservations in using the stick and kept piling up their abuses,when ever they felt my academic performance or conduct was not up to the mark.But we never turned into such aggressive beings Further with the number of children being more than 2 in each house, Personalised attention was very rare,which kept shifting to the youngest,and the eldest were added with the responsibility of taking care of young ones.

While this was the scene at home,we were not spared at school too,Teachers had all types of liberty to infuse discipline and to make children fall in line with academic requirements.No parent had the nerve to question any teacher against any corporal punishment or punitive methods used, in fact THE PARENTS left the job of moulding their children to the teachers.So it is an integrated effort of both parents and teachers to turn a child into a good child.

This principle has been accepted by me in bringing up my children,with an addition that they have to bear the brunt when ever i am in a foul mood following,a bad day in office.And of course having a cynical pleasure that Iam passing on,a portion of what I have received.But they have taken this correction in the good spirits, Because there has been a reasonable quota of strictness shown right from the beginning
But than every child is unique and every parent is unique too,we really do not have,any defined results or algorithms, which can be documented and said this is the best way of bringing up a child.But as quoted by Roger lewin "'we too often give children answers to remember ,rather than problems to solve" which is one reason  for such news ITEMS  to creep . and We  feel happy that our children are not like the ones stated above , which gives you a pep of a GREAT PARENT .