ADDICTION

Recently I was reading a book of Robin Sharma, The author best known for his Best seller "The monk  who sold his Ferrari"were He was giving an elaborate guide to develop good practices for a healthy and peaceful life.One of the aspect that drew my attention was a saying by him where he quotes that any activity that is practiced regularly for 21 days,becomes a habit and its very difficult to break that routine.
May be people who are into such activities and already addicted to something can throw more light on this statement,However I have been addicted to some thing in the recent past and i really find it difficult to quit. Wait .Wait,....just don't imagine, something extreme off late. I have been addicted to computer games and the reasons why I cannot quit can be seen as a real personal experience of our ego level.
Well I Really hated people,when sighted playing solitaire or free cell on the computer and often had a very low esteem on such people.Me on the other side would always try to play a game of chess on the computer(often feeling that it suited my intellectual mind)And as you all could guess I used to invariably lose the game against the computer,thou a loss would disturb me momentarily,I would console myself,saying, yeah this is natural. I am just Human and cannot rate my intelligence against a computer.
But repeated defeats,was really driving me mad,(I hope people know that I do not like to be a loser)So I wanted to try some thing much easier, which would boost my self confidence ,by giving me some winning streaks,having seen many people playing card games I was lured to try my luck on that.
 I started with the game of spider solitaire, and when I lost my first game I could not take the defeat as casually as that of the chess game.My ego was hurt terribly that I could not even play such a silly game of Cards,and it never occurred to me that ,here again my opponent was a computer.My rage was raising and I was doing nothing else but playing the game again and again,to register a win.,
This is when I  sympathized  with so many people who get addicted to gambling and other casino games,and indulge in playing again and again,losing huge money.
I understood that it was not the money lost,that  triggered  them to play again and again ,but the lost EGO,the I factor,the insult why i should lose in front of others,if any other person can win,than why not ME?
well this is when i recalled,the bad name earned by Dharuman in Mahabarath,inspite of being a Gem of a person ,righteous in all ways,the biggest blunder was He playing a game of Dice against SAGUNI(an expert computer) He could not perceive a loss as a loss in game but as a loss of his Ego,His successive attempts to play the game pitting his kingdom, brothers ,one by one and his wife as bids at last was not in an attempt to redeem,them one by one ,But just to establish his Ego and maintaining the I factor.
Well to my surprise I started,winning a few  card games.But now i found yet another component of my ego showing up,The score,each time I won a game,the statistic showed a top score as per that computer,well now I wanted to invariably,race that score(again the I factor)It was immaterial to me , who ever was the top scorer,It had to be ME.So  i started  playing the game, every single moment available,I was hooked on to the system playing the game,improving the score,I thought once I crossed the high score I would stop playing
(did i not say i hate people playing card games on the computer).I am the high scorer now ,but I cannot stop playing,because I want to beat my own record(Again the I factor)to see what can be the maximum limit to touch,set a score as high as possible, so that it is always ME,and none else.This is when I was again drifted into realistic life situations,Do we really see life in the real perspective as that of this game,if it was so we would never,give up so easily and settle down with our mediocre performance,in the various roles we do.How often do we want to surpass the financial targets assigned to us?How do we relate ourselves with our colleagues and other family members?How many times do we tell to ourself that I should be the Best person, AMONG ST every one here be it in terms of Character,intelligence,performance or Humane,Where does our dominant Ego,The I factor,hide when it comes to such relevant activities,which can take us to great heights.
Well not to Forget,off late,I am occasionally winning in the chess game too against the computer,which has given me an extra boost,persistent attempts,leads to success well Robin Sharma also says you have to put 10000 hours to master any activity,might be i am proceeding towards that,
 Don't forget success breeds success,and its highly contagious,keep highly sucessful people by your side, think and have the right attitude to win,"you will win"

WOMAN MANAGERS(Bosses)

Its really a matter of pride for all of us,to see woman,especially Indian woman occupying high positions and contributing their might in the progress and economical development of our country.Some may feel irritated, for me using the word, Indian woman and even felt whether it was meant to degrade them ,Not at all,It required a special Mention only because thou,our Ancestors and forefathers have assigned very high values on woman Equated them to Mother Earth,Bharath matha,and given us the status of the three important Goddesses around which, the whole world revolves the one for wealth lakshmi,the one for knowledge Saraswathi,and the other for courage and val our Sakthi.
we have been culturally tuned to donn the role of conservative woman.who have been   domesticated, and trained for bringing up the next generations and for looking after the house hold activities.
Revolutionary thinkers ( woman )did exist, during different eras,but their numbers were just a few ,with not any big Margins.
The transition of woman  taking part in jobs,were quite few in numbers and they much preferred to settle them selves with  jobs such as teaching,,Receptionists,Telephone operators And doctors,nurse  and clerical, where their roles were having limited level of comfort either feeling more comfortable communicating. with a group,which would not raise their voices because of the relationship   student-teacher,doctor-patient,boss-secy,Manager-clerk,further,it was a preconceived myth that woman,by and large,were not designed to hold managerial positions,since they lacked,Executive ability(the knack of getting work done),orderly minds(often wavering )emotional stability(chicken hearted)and leadership skills
But today round 35% of woman employed in various fields are holding Managerial and above positions,which is a remarkable feat,since 3 out of 10 are leading their teams of work force.
I have often wondered how comfortable  A man might feel,reporting  to lady managers and executing or getting orders issued by their lady bosses
But with the existing.stastics what is stated above,I think they have taken it with ease and the amount of conflicts and ego clashes that occur between a woman boss and a subordinate man is much less
compared to the issues that erupt between a lady boss and a lady subordinate.
I have observed men not grumbling about their bosses(lady)and in fact do not hesitate to discuss any work related problems and seek their advice.While on the contrary a lady reporting to a lady boss has more heart burn stress and ego clashes and her boss occupies her mental space both at office and at home.
This again made me to think on the issue and here are some of my personal idea.
The gender difference and safe guards that a lady has, invariably makes a man to deal with her in a very cautious way and he underplays his Macho card while in work.And is very alert not to de rate or demean her which would cost his job.
Further it is quite understandable that taking orders from a woman is no new thing for a man,Being brought up by a mother and growing up with his sibling sisters, he always feels it a pride to go with their orders/views/wishes(and at a later stage from his wife)and never feels it as a insult. So the conflicts are very rare.Have we ever heard a son in law ever having any issues with his mother in law never.......
Now on the other side,lets see how comfortable is a boss- subordinate relationship between two woman, awful,I should say  the first point of conflict arises,with a comparison on, intelligence looks,dressing,the amount of support or influence that they get from their men colleagues and  instead of carrying forward the job assigned to them and maintaining a healthy office atmosphere they get involved in conflicts on each issue an with inflated ego the tendency of refusing to execute any order or extending a note of appreciation becomes a rare occurance and the reason behind this if seen with an emotional angle would reveal that any lady would try to exhibit the in law syndrome(mother in law or sister in law)  disgust,mistrust and  view the other person only on that scale and hence the level of ease and capability of women gets crushed in this process.
So it   requires a real soul searching to be done by woman managers who excel excellently as a boss individually,but fall out miserably while ,handling her senior or junior woman colleagues.which requires to sheld away the personal injuries what is inflicted to her by the society and family.which remains as a ind-eligible scar very difficult to heal,giving rise to such interpersonal problems