Every coin has another side

 FOR Many in the Southern cities,   weekend is never complete without watching   the unassuming  debate show of Neeya Naana  Anchored by Gopinath  who took pride in prefixing the title  As Neeya Naana Gopinath,which has been watched( pls note I never said admired) by many for the controversial topics.
Many topics have been in discussions, ranging from ethics ,relationships, dress sense,character marriages and even about the existence of super natural powers etc

 And every topic taken for discussion was truly controversial in its own way. On many days   even while the  show was   more serious arguments have   erupted within the family members  debating  for and  against the views being expressed and aired.And many weeks ended  with either ,the couples/children/parents  tugging on to their views  and having small break ups  too.

The debater had never spared any person/topic untouched be it  Father, Mother ,friends ,teachers,mentor,God, system of beliefs, prayers etc etc. But never there was  ever a slight resistance both from the participants or  from the audience saying / claiming that the  Discussions were unfair/ biased   and  it could lead to  lopsided  mindset  among st the viewers and in later days culminate into a societal issue.

The Anchor  predominantly  time and again endorsed all negative comments,Adding fuel to the thought process and commented that it was a mis representation of facts  and this attitude of the anchor was never contested by any community, which gave him the leverage to assume that every word spoken or views expressed was authentic and final.in his parlance until recently.
A  show of  by  Gopinath  targeting the medical professionals  regarding unethical practices  followed by doctors    which has come in for more criticism and kindled angst  amongst the Doctor community,

In fact such rebuttals should have come in from every one,Parent,Teacher,Brother Sister,etc earlier itself  when ever they were targeted, While they were the subjects of discussions because the comments and views  and analogy were indeed a dose of bitter pill to ingest causing irk among every segment of people.because the discussions were really not consistent and acceptable in reality.

However  since the  TRP rating of this show  kept going up  due to the  absence of protest from every one the TV channel and the Anchor believe that what ever was aired was non controversial and in sync with the Society,till the recent episode.

Well a group of professionals (Doctors)have reacted sharply against the views expressed during the show,I as a non Medical person would like to place my understanding and interpretations as follows,

Is it not a fact that the diagnosis of any ailment  by a doctor on date, is linked to a series of investigation and tests,and finally confirmed by the doctor for the line of treatment/Management TO BE INITIATED.

Was it not earlier the skill  AND knowledge of the physician in diagnosing  the ailment with a physical examination and with an  extensive interaction with the patient, where has this art been buried ?

Does this indicate  lack of confidence,from our physicians that he  depend s upon numerical values and pictured scans to start the treatment,  Isn't this attitude amply justifying that Today's Treatment are more investigation driven, without application of mind and Reasoning.Which  in  turn justified  the debate.

Can we not attribute this trend to the fast pace at which our doctors would like to treat their patience(or get rid of them by prescribing some medicines only based on the test reports)Failing which He/she would have to limit themselves just seeing off hardly 5-6 patients in their scrambled time slot of an hour of consultation
 which they have set aside,CONTRARY TO HAVE rendered consultation for atleast 15 -20 if the investigation results are there handy to draw course of action(commercialisation)
.
Does this theory not match with the opinion that every doctor wants to maximize their emoluments and hence follow these practices knowing very well that its unethical.

Yet another point of debate was regarding a  confirmation test on pregnancy,Where one among the audience
indicated that just with a Stethoscope it can be done,which again gathered the wrath from the Doctors commune,

Well here again  in my opinion the despair and depressing need to put off child birth in advanced countries would have initiated a need to have a fast track method to confirm a pregnancy, So that the earlier the better.Which is invariably being followed by every one today.
How many Doctors advise people to wait for a minimum period without proceeding with   such confirmation test/and investigations.
Any lady who is ready to accept her pregnancy and await for her child would not   resort to any major investigations because she may be the best judge to notice the progressive changes and confirm the new addition.Was it not like this a  few decades back?

Just to add up to this list is the decision taken by our doctors to perform some major surgeries on Aged people,knowing very well that even recovery  the surgical strain would require tremendous stress both to the care giver/patient .Are these surgeries not carried out just to lure patients with the tag line of  giving quality life and cash less treatments at the behest of some insurance scheme While most of them are aimed at increasing their margin of profits(yet another) unethical way of making fast money
.
Well if these are some noticeable practices going on in the Medical profession.At the same time let us not isolate this trend to the Medical professionals alone as indicated Doctors are not trained to serve  people but to meet the requirements of the Medical Business which is a part and parcel of our economy..

On the other hand  their clients(the patients)who visit the doctors also go with a firm mindset,No one is ready to accept a doctor's prescribing a set of medicines with out doing some investigations at least a list of pathological tests.
More over they stamp the doctor who does not require a test report as either fake or incompetent..and start switching over to hospitals and private institutions sans the government hospitals who in fact extend far superior medical support and advice.

A Thoughtful Poem

Dear all aren't we still lamenting on the loss of our beloved mother and just keep longing to know what thoughts were there running in her head about us ,here is a beautiful soul touching poem by GINNY ELLIS   let us console our self with this sweet message                                                                                                                                             

A MOTHER'S MESSAGE

FROM HEAVEN

I see you, darling, all the time,

I know everything you do,

Would you believe, my dearest child

I'm even closer now to you.

For I can see inside your mind,

Indeed, inside your heart,

 I even know you better now,

Than I did before, sweetheart.

I've always loved you - you know that,

But maybe now I love you more,

I love the adult that you've become,

Just as I loved the child before.

I know how much you miss me, honey,

Well, I miss you, too,

I miss our talking and our laughing,

And all we used to do.

Whether you are six or sixty,

You'll always be my precious child,

You're the baby that I carried,

And the adult that's helped me smile.

What you need to understand,

Though death has taken me away,

Is that I've not left you, darling,

I am still with you today.

Honey, I could never leave you,

God, of course, would not want that,

Physically, we are apart,

But our hearts are still attached.

I love you all the time,

You cannot get away from me,

That's the way a Mother is,

Right into eternity.

Every day I'm with you

I see you from above,

And I want for you to know

How very much you're loved.

Virginia (Ginny) Ellis

Copyright May 2003

Skill versus Passion

Options are always open to us, to choose from a ready made item or, to order to make as per our requirements, and when it fits into the description what we intend to have, then we say it's been 'tailor made' for us.
Presuming that  any tailor made item  just falls as it has to be. And mares the ill effect of a ready to use product/service which comes with its own inbuilt features and limitations.

Tailor made courses, tailor made parents, tailor made couples, tailor menu, and even tailor made kids who just meet the  requirements and aspirations of parents,sleep when wanted,eat what's given, study what's told and choose what's offered.Well let me confine my thought process to sheer tailoring of dresses alone as topic of dicussion..

Tailor made goods had/have its own credits,adding value that does not come with ready made goods. We have the option to choose  a particular variety, color, fabric and in addition gives us the liberty to fit into our budget, Because to have a ready made dress means   affordability ,defined by brands and that we fall under a clan of rich people who are destined for it.

My memory of tailor made dresses goes back to my younger days when Appa and Amma would venture into efforts to make our outfits using a Singer sewing machine at home. Neither of them had any intro into tailoring, cutting and stitching. But it was simple economics that they preferred to labor on this, to save on few rupees spent, if out sourced and of course to minimize on the material wastage  that is way too much if given to a tailor.
Amma used to make three frocks out of the same material what the tailor would say is insufficient for even one.They would have laces and frills at appropriate places, which a tailor could never perceive and make. While this was the happy note there were also instances where Appa and Amma would quarrel on the apathetic outcome of certain attempts which would really be disastrous and  abandon the process of stitching half way.
Besides this, I have always seen Amma never being completely satisfied with a tailored blouse. It was either too big or too small with respect to the referral piece given. And we  are still are at the mercy of the tailors and depend on them. If we are described as a 'style statement' the credit goes to him/her and if    we are described as a 'oldie' than again the credit has to be passed over to a tailor. I often jocularly mention that it is ultimately his perception about how you should look. He/She either transforms you to the range of  Bollywood divas or takes you to saint hood .
Very recently my daughter was a victim at the trial of a tailor who was supposed to make her formal suit. She was joined by a bunch of class mates of both gender who were now at the mercy of this chosen tailor.He claimed that he could deliver a few dozens of suits in a short time.And all youngsters had lined up
to give their individual measurements and trilled to have their first suit stitched.Each one had imagined themselves in their outfits and been waiting for the piece to be delivered with soaring level of expectations.
  As usual she wanted to share her joy with me and with the help of technology at hand, she had sent me the first trial photo wearing it. As usual I made my first sarcastic comment that it looked like a ballooned outfit worn by our classical heroes like Dilip Kumar, MGR or Shivaji, when they were assigned roles of kings and princes.
It was really out of size and more a worry for her, who wanted to maintain her figure. Now the hassle of alterations started. Only my inbox was getting filled up with versions of altered suits. never the one with perfect fitting.To add up to her anxiety .I was told that the photo shoot with their suits on was arranged. And people had to come up with different poses and gestures, some really trying to hold up their pants from slipping down, some to really hold back their breaths to avoid bulging down and many  adopted strange postures and accessories to cover up the ill fits.And many  of them are planning to redo this job with a different tailor. This is when I just got the clarity on two terms used by us very often, 'skill' and 'passion'.The tailor in this case possessed the skill to stitch and produce output in time, but lacked the passion to perceive how it should fit in. Especially when he had to do it for both men and woman who differ in physical structure.
Amma never had any skill of tailoring but she could produce such wonderful outfits because she could perceive each outfit with her imagination of the child and her passion to see them dresses properly brought excellent results . So can we conclude that great work doesn't turn mean excellent skills alone ,but it has to be done passionately. If baking is the skill, passion is the icing what makes  the cake  yummy and instills the stimulus to eat. 

A POEM WORTH READING AND SAVING

Going low with depression,I was browsing the web to have a feel  how others feel when they lose some one dear to them and found this beautiful poem by Mary elizabeth Fyre and thought it worth a million to share   Here it goes.......



Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there.I did not Die

It's Mava Day!

It's Appa's 85th birthday today! A stream of memories are just emanating ,one leading to another.

 Appa cherished celebrating his birthday,with every new year,the enthusiasm that he would be celebrating his birthday in May will begin, And he would start making his invitee list and start calling up his children (the only treasure he possessed) ,one after another inquiring when he can expect us there for his celebrations. At times we used to just brush him aside saying, "Appa, it's just Jan. There is a long way to go." While Appa was enthusiastic to celebrate his birthday, Amma always wanted it to be special and would encourage us to give him a gift on his birthday. Even while we had very little we could scoop a small amount to give him a needy gift.

Times changed and later it was Appa gifting us on his Birthday. Not missing ,the wonderful treat of 'Biriyani' and other delicacies to follow, which only Amma can hold and what only Appa could host.

We all take lot of pride as MAVAs.

I guess Gen 3 would not know that Appa had very strong principles which he has passed down to us.

Present below is the only small  poster     that adorned our factory, 'Southern Electronics Industry' at Arakonam, framed and put up at a very prominent location.When we lost the factory and were forced to give up every thing ,this single  poster followed us and remained with us till it made us what we are today and outlived its life.



1எழ்மையிலும் நேர்மை.
(Honesty even when you live in poverty)
2. கோபத்திலும் பொறுமை.
(PATIENCE EVEN WHILE YOU ARE ANGRY)
3. தோல்வியிலும் விடாமுயற்சி
(NEVER GIVE UP ON FAILURES)
4. தரித்திரத்திலும் பரோபகாரம்
(CHARITY EVEN WHILE YOU LIVE IN PENURY)
5. துன்பத்திலும் தைரியம்
BRAVERY  IN ADVERSITY
6. செல்வத்திலும் எளிமை
SIMPLICITY IN RICHNESS
7. பதவியிலும் பணிவு
(HUMBLENESS WHILE IN POWER)

Suresh, Akka and I, would many times discuss whether what has been quoted above is practically possible. However, its just not the quote, but Appa also  led us to believe in these sayings,He always wanted us to spell out bravely what ever was the truth without any fear. Never wanted us to be cowed down due to authority of power. He always rose to question illegalities and taught us always to aim for the skyand nothing less!

Appa stood with us whenever we faced hardships and encouraged us that nothing is impossible. Days may go and years may fly but what values we have inherited through you will remain forever Appa!
"Happy Birthday APPA" WE KNOW THAT YOU ARE SEEING US AND LISTENING AND READING OUR MINDS

" The Generation Gap'

As a child we all  would have always  had a rumbling within us that, We are misunderstood  by our parents,they always dismissed what ever we wish to think(leave aside what we do) and would have compared our self with many of our peers and at times sighed. How nice it would have been if at all our Parents were more under standing and supportive.
While the other side(Parents)were neither happy too, they have  similar feelings about us and it was always either of them either the mother or father playing a referee in between ironing out the differences so that the relationship doesn't strain.And every time we have heard the word Generation gap,where we attributed this mainly towards are thought process which had refused to change with time.
Lets see how the perception between the parents and kids have been changing and conflict of interest rising in.
Yesteryears:
The parents saw their kids as a mascot who were specially sent by GOD to take care of them in their last years,They felt that they were meant to plaster all the voids what existed in their life, which had arised due to various social/economical inadequacies what they faced as they grew up.They kept all their hopes pinned on their kid, listing out their wish list  and accordingly tried to guide them to accomplish them in full or part (which were mostly tasks and opportunities which they could either complete or were denied).Well the kids on the other hand felt it was their utmost Duty to keep their parents happy,They went an extra mile leaving behind their wants and aspirations to see a happy smile on their faces.They wanted to make their parents dream come through and never even had time to think of their own dreams.
Current years:
The parents of today who were kids of yesteryear's think the same way as their Parents, and hold all their dreams which were never realized and naturally feel its now the Duty of the kid to fulfill their wish list,But on the other hand Kids have changed their perspective and started to think that Parents are the Messiah sent by God to fulfill all their demands and Desires. Its now the turn of the parents to slog and spend all their energy to ensure that the dreams of their children are met. For children of today are more focused on realizing their dreams.

Here comes a wonderful Poem buy W.B Yeats ,which goes as a dedication to all kids and parents to be, to emphasize how gentle and delicate it is




Had I the Heavens,embroidered cloths
En wrought with golden and silver light.
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
of the night and light and half light.
I would spread the cloths under your feet;
But I,being poor,have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams:




  

A tribute to my Teachers Part I

Teachers play a larger than life role in everyone’s life, and I am not singled out either. On this day when the whole country and students pay their respect to the noble community who have brought  us up to this level, passing on their knowledge but at the same time preferring to stay back as teachers, at this juncture I would like to pass on my heartfelt respect to each one of them who have been instrumental in making me what I am.

Let me begin with my Primary school teachers. From the railway school, a majority of them were from the Anglo Indian community. Mrs.Gone, A very serious looking person, Mrs.Tennant (who was always pregnant with a protruding tummy) Mrs. Pavne, the only dark complexioned anglo that I had seen and Mrs.Lazesaro,  Mrs.Johnson. And  Mr.Vedachalam.

Mrs.Lazesaro was my 2nd class miss the only one to be clad in a saree, while the rest were in their couture frilled frocks. I remember her for nursing me with a bandage and treating me with chocolates after I got hurt with a face to face dash with my brother, while we were playing police/robber during our lunch break I had a bloody scar that still exists on my left temple (being remembered for her kindness and care).

Mrs. Johnson was class V in-charge, rated to be very Strict and a terror. I was in class I and My sister in class V. I would wind up earlier and  have to wait for my sister and brother who will accompany me back home, One such day I was clinging on to the window bar of class V peering in anxiously wondering when the class would end.  Mrs.Johnson noticed me (I should have been distracting the attention of the students) and called me in and inquired what was the matter, I said "I am waiting for my Sister."(in English) She was very happy that I could communicate without fear, gave me two ‘kammarcuts’ and made me sit in her class by the side of her desk till the Class was over, It was a surprise for every one because they had always attached only strictness to her character. This was another side to her. Since than I was usually given a place in her class. I still remember the half smiles that she returned to me. She was the first person to be charmed by me.

Vedachalam Sir was my Tamil master. We were introduced to Tamil language in class II ,While I was in class III, I fared very badly in a Tamil dictation Test and he scolded every one and me in particular, because there were very few students with Tamil as mother tongue in the class(others were anglo). I was annoyed and retorted saying I will prove that I will get 10/10 in the next test. For a while he was shocked never thought a class III student would have guts to challenge and said “Ok! Parkalam!” (Ok ,we will see).

My next Dictation results proved I had taken 10/10, But he had forgotten the last episode, I went  up to him, showed my paper and said “Have you noticed  Sir?  I have kept the Challenge!” He laughed gave a gentle pat on my back and I guessed everything was okay. One evening Appa had a visitor and was speaking to him. He had called out to Amma asking her to send a cup of coffee for the guest. I was assigned the errand of carrying the coffee to them.

While I handed the coffee tumbler, Vedachalam sir looked up at me, not having  expected me there, he asked Appa, “Sir Unga Daughter ah?(Sir, is she your daughter?) Appa said, ”Yes. Yen ketkureeinka?(Why) He said, “She challenged me ,Sir! She won the challenge too. Ippathan Sir theriyuthu antha DAIRIYAM  ENGIRUNDU VANTHATHU NU!”(Only now I understand where from she has inherited the guts.)

I remember him for being so magnanimous in accepting his defeat, was the first person whom I challenged and I learnt that any challenge big or small has to be taken seriously and success is always sweet but it requires lots of hard work and mostly for showing me that I am Appa’s replica!